My husband, Martin Luther King Jr., understood that all forms of discrimination and persecution were unjust and unacceptable for a great democracy. He believed that none of us could be free until all of us were free, that a person of conscience had no alternative but to defend the human rights of all people.
—Coretta Scott King
About Marriage Equality Silicon Valley
Marriage Equality Silicon Valley is a grassroots effort, organized by volunteers in the Silicon Valley/San Jose/South Bay area, to educate, unite and mobilize all communities for equality.
Who We Are
Visit our Profiles Page to meet some of the volunteers behind Marriage Equality Silicon Valley.
Why Marriage?
People often ask, "Why do gay people insist of having the right to marry? Why can't they just have civil unions or domestic partnerships, which offer the same advantages as marriage?"
The simple answer is that civil unions, domestic partnerships, or any other newly created forms of union are not, and can never be, equivalent to marriage. Marriage is recognized worldwide as representing the ultimate expression of love and commitment between two human beings. It is both a symbol of the intimacy between two people and a public acknowledgment of a couple forming a family unit, with or without children. Throughout our lives, from infancy to old age, our society reinforces the notion that marriage is the highest expression of the love between two people. Who, as a child or a teenager, dreams of entering into a civil union or domestic partnership with someone?
It is well established that same-sex couples can be just as loving and committed as opposite-sex couples, and that children of same-sex parents grow up to be just as well-adjusted as children of heterosexual parents. Moreover, homosexuality is part of the normal spectrum of human sexuality, as evidenced by this article (.pdf) from the American Psychological Association. The APA document also refutes myths that homosexuality is a choice, or can be "cured" by treatment or therapy.
The United States Government Accountability Office has enumerated 1,138 specific rights and responsibilities (.pdf) that are granted to, or assumed by, couples upon marriage. These rights and responsibilities are the very tangible economic and social effects that marriage grants, and include some very important safety nets for families. Excluding same-sex couples from the institution of marriage denies them, for no good reason, some of the most important protections that heterosexual married couples take for granted. These include:
- Ability to inherit property upon death of a spouse
- Entitlement to bereavement leave upon death of a spouse
- Access to courts to legally terminate a relationship and provide for spousal support
- Entitlement to family leave to care for a sick spouse or children
- Hospital visitation rights
- Ability to make emergency medical decisions
- Right to apply as a family for public housing
- Coverage under a spouse's health insurance program
- Immigration and family unification rights for foreign spouses
- Coverage under home and auto insurance policies
- Adoption rights
- Ability to provide child support
- Portability of rights to other states and to foreign countries
- Property ownership rules for married couples
- Rights to shared spousal retirement benefits
- Ability to take advantage of special tax rates for married couples
It is clear that denying so many of life's basic protections to same-sex couples is not only unfair, but downright harmful to the couple and to their children. Marriage Equality Silicon Valley seeks to end this injustice by working with other organizations to overturn laws that prevent same-sex couples from marrying, or their marriages from being recognized. Such laws are unfair and unconstitutional, in clear violation of the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution, which states that "[n]o State shall make or enforce any law which shall ... deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws." The Amendment does not state that it does not apply to two men, or to two women, who wish to marry; it applies to everyone (within the state's jurisdiction). Equal protection under the law is one of the most treasured principles of our country's government. Statutes created expressly for the purpose of denying equal protection, such as California's Proposition 8 or the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), are unjust, unconstitutional and un-American, and courts are obligated to render them invalid. The constitutional guarantee of equal protection under the law is not one that can be arbitrarily taken away by the whim of a hostile majority. When this happens, as in the case of Proposition 8, it is the duty of the courts to protect the rights of a vulnerable minority by enforcing the basic tenets of the Constitution, and overturn the unjust law.
We encourage you to help make a difference by joining our efforts. Planning meetings are open to all who are committed to marriage equality for all couples. Please email us for more information.
How Will You Accomplish This?
Quite simply, we can't. In order to have the kind of free, democratic society envisioned by our Founding Fathers, as Americans, we all have a responsibility to fight injustice against any oppressed group, whether it's gays and lesbians, transgendered people, or migrant workers. If you believe in equal treatment under the law, that everyone is entitled to the same basic freedoms and protections, it is your duty to stand up against injustices such as Proposition 8. Our country's history has shown that, time and again, civil rights must always win out over hatred, fear, and oppression. It wasn't that long ago that members of the Ku Klux Klan paraded freely through the streets, to the cheers of crowds, spewing their racial hatred and inciting, and often committing, violence against individuals just because of the color of their skin. The current-day threats against the LGBT community, while perhaps taking on a different guise, are no less real. If you believe that this type of behavior is not acceptable in American society, you must exercise your civic power to stop it.
I'm Not Gay. But What Can I Do to Help?
Many people — probably nearly everyone in the San Francisco Bay Area — know someone who is gay, whether it is a family member, a friend, someone at work, school or church. Most people would not want to see this person suffer, or be treated differently under the law. If they were to put themselves in that person's shoes, they might begin to have an inkling of what it's like to be gay: feeling awkward about holding their loved one's hand in public, facing all sorts of lies and condemnation directed against them by certain religious groups, and even fearing for their lives in certain situations. Surely, no one would wish to face these kinds of daily challenges, but that is the reality for LGBT people, who, like anyone else, just want to live their lives in relative peace, happiness and safety.
There are many ways that fair-minded people can help improve the plight of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender citizens. The most important thing you can do — and the simplest — is to speak up against anti-gay rhetoric whenever and wherever it is encountered: at work, at school, at church, and, of course, in the home. Most people know that it is wrong, yet it's so easy to just not say anything, thereby tacitly approving of such rhetoric. This is especially common with teenagers, among whom the phrase "That's so gay" is one of the worst put-downs. Parents have a responsibility to instruct their children that such rhetoric is not acceptable, and to teach them why this is so. Those who angrily defend it, and even encourage it, by saying that they "don't approve of that lifestyle" are entitled to their opinion; however, it must be recognized for what it is — discrimination, intolerance, hatred — and challenged as such. Most people these days would never dream of treating people of a different race in such a manner; why should LGBT people be treated differently?
Other ways to help include writing your local representatives to speak out on issues that affect the LGBT community, electing people to office who truly value diversity in both words and actions, donating to political organizations that help gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender individuals, becoming involved in preventing suicide by LGBT youth, volunteering to work at your local LGBT community center, and having discussions with school and church leaders about how to improve the social environment in these settings for LGBT students and members. See our Links page for a partial list of some organizations and resources.
And, of course, there's also a personal journey that each person must take. Educate yourself about gay history, events and leaders through the Internet, books and studies. However, it is essential to keep in mind that so much "literature" that is available has been created and misused for the express purpose of "proving" the inferiority of gays and lesbians: as parents, as teachers, and as simple human beings. Use your own common sense to separate fact from fiction. Most importantly, take the time to sit down and talk with your gay family members, friends, acquantances, and co-workers. Listen to their stories and experiences. Ask what it was like when they came out. And try to put yourself in their shoes and imagine what it must be like. Without judging them, ask yourself: "Is this person really the monster that the anti-gay forces have made them out to be?" In your heart, you already know the answer.
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